Germany:

Flights:

This was our first experience with Easyjet, and I now see why Ryanair makes fun of them so much. Both of our flights were 35 min late, and the crew on the flight home seemed to be a little more concerned with the conversation that they were having with their friends in the front row than providing us with the necessary paperwork to land. The flight to Dortmund was very bumpy, so much that Matt ended up clawing the side of the plane in an attempt to save his life. Well, actually we're not sure what he was trying to do but it was funny either way.

Accommodation:

This is where the adventure starts! First of all, Matt's [distant] relatives picked us up at the airport at midnight in their shiny Mercedes-Benz. They then drove us to their house, which is also a bed and breakfast. The house was partitioned with the inn on one side and the family's home on the other. There were no other guests as tourist season was over, so we had the entire inn to ourselves. We were given the largest room (suite really) which had a nice bedroom, huge living area and fully stocked kitchen! The bathroom was nice as well, and the towels were super big and super soft! The beds were soft and the pillows were huge! The house was kept colder than we were used to, but after we figured out how to crank the heat we were fine. It took us till the last night to figure out how to use the outside blinds - the controls of which were built into the wall and covered by the decorative blinds in our defense.

Transportation:

We were driven everywhere by one or more of the family members we met along the way - a comfortable change from our other trips! The town where we stayed was very small (the family called it a village), but was only a quick drive to Lippstadt and about 35 min to Patterborn, about the size of Ann Arbor. On the rare occasion where were weren't driven we walked trough the village. Matt's dad's mom's side of the family all live within walking distance of each other.

Most of the cars in the area were either Mercedes or VW, the domestic choice. Cars tended to run on standard petrol. although we noticed a few that took diesel. The cars were larger than those in Paris, but not by much. All of the cars were stick, and people tended to clutch in a little too early (for my tastes). I got used to the sound of the grinding transmission, though.

Food:

And the fun continues! First of all, German food is great. I felt like we got a pretty authentic German culinary experience, as I didn't see a nasty American fast fod chain the entire time we were there. Breakfast at the B&B was usually quite light by american standards but seemed typical by European standards. Let me explain. Matt was telling us that in Germany lunch is the biggest meal of the day, then dinner and then breakfast. Our breakfasts included rolls and jam, cold cuts, cheese, hard-boiled eggs (in egg cups!), coffee, juice, and butter on everything!

Our most memorable lunch was at Matt's great aunt's house. This woman was absolutely amazing! She must have been in the kitchen since early morning because there was so much food! The lunch was served family style with the huge army of food lined in the middle of the nicely dressed table. Skinned and boiled potatoes seemed to be a staple of German cuisine, and rightfully so they were brought out first. Next was a huge tray of green beans cooked with bacon and white asparagus, and then the meat! There were two types of meat, the first of which we are still unsure of it's origin but it was cut into lean chunks and cooked in a burnt orange gravy. The second we decided was pork, which was sliced and had brown gravy poured over it. Extra gravy was put on the table, just in case there wasn't enough on the food already! There was more food, but the rest of the meal is escaping me at the moment.

Now, back to the great aunt! This woman was my favorite of Matt's relatives, and here's why: She was the warmest, most friendly and hospitable lady that I've ever met. But to only add to her amazing, dominant presence in the room she only knew one english word: EAT!! Whenever our plates were less than half full she would spoon more food onto them, especially when it came to the potatoes. She seemed very invested in us never running our of potatoes! We repeatedly tried ot nicely tell her that we were full, and we attempted to utter a no thank you in German (nine, danka) but it seemed to be completely useless! We ended up making a dent in the food were were given, but ultimately were left with food that we were unable to eat.

After lunch we were served a light dessert of fruit and whipped cream, and an amazing vanilla pudding/custard with chocolate chips. Again, we were involuntarily served seconds and thirds until we were seriously unable to eat even the smallest bite more! Matt's great aunt seemed pleased by our efforts! After the meal we headed back to the B&B for a well-deserved nap!

Dinners (so I am told) are not usually very large, and on the first night we didn't even have one. See below for the reason why! The second night we went to a restaurant in Patterborn, where the entire family occupied a private room in honor of Matt's arrival. The menu was half German and half English, either due to the tourist population of the town or the good planning of Matt's family. Either way it saved a lot of humiliation for a later time. Matt and I ordered schnitzel (sp?), which seemed to be a beaten and breaded chicken breast which was then fried and served with our choice of sauces. I chose a sweet green and red pepper sauce, while Matt has a sweet onion relish. Both were served with the mandatory potatoes and a green salad that was drenched in salad cream! Liz ordered a roast chicken breast with cheese, ham and a mixed berry sauce. All of our meals were excellent, and our waitress was very cute!

Good Times:

After a light afternoon snack on the first day the family (which now included us) decided to go into Lippstadt to see a concert. The article in the paper said that it was a solo pianist who would be playing a varity of classic works, from Benny Goodman to Beethoven. What we ended up watching was quite different. First of all, the loby of the concert hall was set up with about eight different electric pianos, which Matt told us were all junk and over priced. They were all being played by children between the ages of 7 and 14, all at the same time. Talk about sonic dissonance! We should have taken this as a clue, but trusting the 200 word German newspaper article we proceeded into the concert hall where on stage we found an electric piano with three different sets of keys. Behind the bench was a huge mirror, which was to show the performers hands (to prove that she was really playing.

After sitting and waiting for about ten minutes the house lights dimmed over a crowd of barely thirty and Claudia H (can't spell her last name) made her grand entrance. Right off the bat we knew that something was dreadfully wrong, as she was dressed in all white, her shoes sparkly and her jacket embroidered with an amazingly ugly pattern on the back. She sat down at the piano and counted herself off. "One, two, three..." and on four, with her first note Matt, Liz, and I all let out a simultaneous "Oh Shit!" The electric piano was playing the backing to a bad pop song, while Claudia played over the top. To make matters worse, she had a makeshift light show (consisting of a colored light on either side) that was timed to her musical cues. And the kicker, the smoke machine under the piano bench that made it look like she was suffering the results of an English breakfast every time it went off. AHH! Luckily the show was short, and we couldn't help and laugh. Even Matt's family was amused by how overdone this woman was!

So this situation had to be remedied. It was about 9 pm and the kids were getting a little fussy and I think Matt's family was getting a little curious to see what we were made of. Two of Matt's relatives, whose names I can't spell at this moment, decided that they would take us out for a little pub-crawl. Little did we know what were getting ourselves into when we agreed to this! The couple had two girls, one five and the other eight, and explained to us that they haven't been able to have a night out on the town for years because they cannot find a good babysitter. We seemed to be their excuse to have a night out, and we were more than happy to fill that role. We ended up going to seven different bars, and drinking at five of them. We communicated the best we could, as we knew no German at all. Our hosts were good English speakers, and we very understanding of our social handicap. They helped us order and gave us a little history of the town. By 12:30 we were a little tired and really buzzed, so we decided to go home and relieve the babysitter - grandpa!